Helmet Perspectives

When I was young, my friends and I  rode our horses through fields and trails just about every day. We'd take our horses swimming, jump fences, play cowboys and Indians, and make a valiant effort to play polo. Not once, not at any time, did any of us ever wear a helmet. Not when we sat backwards on our horses, bareback, to read our homework assignments when our horses were grazing freely in the pasture. Not when we tried (without success) to slide off our horse's back and under their bellies, then scramble onto their back from the other side––all without touching the ground. And certainly not when we raced up the red gravel hill of County Line Road, three or four abreast across both lanes. I remember one day when a friend and I not only practiced standing on the bare backs of our horses while they were moving, we decided to go tandem, two horses with two helmet-less people, our left feet on one horse and right on the other. It didn't seem to matter that one horse was 14.1 and the other 16 hands.

Today, I am horrified and can't imagine even doing most of those things. I certainly do not recommend them now, even though we had a lot of fun and I can't recall that anyone, horse or human got hurt. The potential for disaster, though, was extremely high. All I can say is that we must have worked our guardian angels way past overtime.

The other day I was in my barn getting ready to ride my mare. Tessie is an unflappable Belgian/Quarter Horse cross and I'd feel completely comfortable with a six-year-old riding her. When I ride her, we typically walk/trot around the arena in school horse fashion and work on leg yields and bending. As a former driving horse, these are major gaps in Tessie's education.

 Just as I was putting my sunglasses on I realized I couldn't find my helmet. Oh, well, I thought, I'll ride just this once without it. Tessie is perfectly safe. But Tessie and I got half-way to the arena when I stopped. I couldn't do it. I knew I couldn't get on this, arguably one of the safest horses in the world, without a helmet. So, we trudged back to the barn and I pulled out a helmet that was several years old. It was heavier than my new helmet, not as comfortable, not as attractive, but I could not get on my horse, any horse, without it.

I've been riding for forty-nine years and have trained horses professionally for most of my adult life. The difference between now, and the child rider that I was, is perspective. Over the years, I have seen many falls when the helmet saved the rider. I have seen so many unforeseen, freak accidents that I know that anything can happen at any time. As safe as Tessie is, as experienced as I am, I know the next accident could be a simple stumble away. That's why you will never see me ride without the protection of a helmet, because I value life, my life, too much.

Snoqualmie

This month would have been Snoqualmie's 49th birthday. Snoqualmie was the horse I had as a child, and then was my son Colby's horse when he was small. The bond I had with her and then that Colby had with her was amazing. I never had a moment of worry or doubt about Colby's safety if he was  with Snoqualmie. He'd climb up her mane and ride her in through the pasture with no halter or bridle,  guiding her by pulling left or right on her mane.

Sometimes they'd amble along, a Civil War soldier and his horse coming home from battle, complete with cardboard guns and a military cap we found at a thrift store. Other times they'd gallop through the field, a pirate ship and her captain escaping the enemy (which was sometimes our dog, Dexter, or less often, our cat Bootsie).

Colby never fell off. Snoqualmie would never have allowed it. If he got off balance, she shifted underneath him and gently slowed. She was quiet and patient with Colby, but she knew he was important to me and took good care of him.

Snoqualmie passed away when Colby was six and she was 31. She'd had a stroke a few days before and finally got down and could not get back up. One thing she loved to do was eat, so as I held her head in my lap in a field of trees as I waited for the vet, Colby went to the barn for the grain. For once she could have all she wanted. She licked handful after handful from Colby's little hand and when it was time, I sent Colby to the house. She is buried there, underneath the trees. Even after we moved away from that house, Colby and I visited her at least once a year.

Today I like to think that she is galloping off to new adventures in the great beyond. I had her with me for twenty-three years. She was my best friend and I miss her more than words can say. Happy Birthday, my Fat Girl.

Winter Weather

Winter weather can be an adventure. While in Minnesota for the holidays we went from snow to wind chills of 40 below and colder, to more show, then (amazingly) 40 above, then rain, then ice, then snow, then more below zero temperatures. It can make travel iffy but you quickly learn to plan activities around the weather. When traveling by air, however, you are at the complete mercy of Mother Nature.

Just after the first of the year I flew from Nashville to Seattle. Or that was the plan. I was going to stay on Bainbridge Island for a week or so to work on a book. All was well until our plane neared Washington state and we learned that Seattle was having so much wind and snow that dozens of planes were already circling the airport waiting out the weather before they could land. Our plane had originated in San Antonio and had then stopped in Dallas and Birmingham before I boarded in Nashville. We did not have enough fuel to circle so we landed instead in Spokane. Lots of snow there, too. It was about 8:30 p.m. when we got to the gate and it was decided that, as it would be at least a few hours, that we could get of the plane and wander the airport for a while. That was wonderful except that none of the shops or restaurants were open and after just a handful of peanuts and a four hour flight, most of us were hungry. Imagine close to 700 stranded people from three different planes who were all starving and cranky.

As we were the third plane to land to wait out the storm, we were supposed to be the third plane out. But, as our flight crew was quickly running out of working hours, it was determined that if we didn't leave first, that our crew would have to be replaced. And, as there wasn't another full crew anywhere close to Spokane we'd end up delayed even longer. So we all got back on the plane (which was completely full) and flew to Seattle.

We were able to land fairly quickly but as all the planes that had been delayed by the storm were now at the gates, we had to sit on the tarmac for about 45 minutes. That made some people very angry, including a man sitting behind me who began loudly berating babies, fat people, airlines, businesses in general, and the government. As no one seemed to be listening to him he called his girlfriend and repeated the litany to her just as loudly and she did the right thing and promptly hung up. Well, this angered him further so he began cussing all of the above and added his now ex-girlfriend to the list. Flight attendants finally converged upon him and escorted him to the back of the plane where he sat out the remaining wait in the rear jump seat guarded by a male flight attendant.

A gate eventually was cleared for us but the 45 minute wait with the engines running had melted all the snow around our plane to ice and we were now stuck, so the pilot called for a tow vehicle. This created another 15 minute wait but we did get our plane towed to a gate. Now the problem was with the baggage handlers who were quite overwhelmed with all baggage from all the planes that had landed virtually at once. The 52 minute wait for my luggage was not too bad. At least I was out of the cramped seat and actually standing up.

By this time it was almost 1:00 a.m. To get to Bainbridge Island I had to take a 30 minute cab ride to the ferry and the last ferry was scheduled to leave at 2:10 a.m. So I hurried to the cab stand to find I was the 208th person in line. And, as most of the people in line were students returning from break, or military personnel headed to base, no one else seemed to be heading to the ferry. Rather than get stranded at the ferry station, my wonderful literary agent found a hotel room for me for the night and I ended up on the island the next afternoon.

I mention all this because, although I was very tired from all the delays, what could have been a horrible trip, had some unexpected perks. I met some great people, including a number of students who were excited about entering the job market and making a difference in our world. There were some very capable young military men who led me to believe we are very safe in their hands. I met several business people who were working on exciting new ideas in technology, science, teaching and medicine. So instead of being angry about delays that I could not control, I came away from the experience excited about the many people who are all working in their own small way to make our country and our world a better place. So next time you are delayed in your travels I hope you will take time to reach out to those around you. Get to know them and hopefully you will be as encouraged about life and our country as I was.

Best Laid Plans

I had plans for last week, work I was going to get done and friends I was going to see. Then my son had a car accident and everything changed. While he was not at fault and he generally was okay, his car was totaled. There was the towing company to deal with. And the insurance, both ours and the man who was at fault. Then there was the car rental company, medical appointments, and more insurance.

Something had to give and it was my original plans for the week. But you know what? It didn't matter. Sometimes you know what you have to do and it isn't at all what you thought you had to do. Especially when horses or kids are involved, life can change on the drop of a dime. We find ourselves operating on their time frame, not ours, and that isn't always a bad thing.

That's why when, four days after my son's accident, a car I was riding in was rear ended, it was okay. Yes, I had pressing job and career things to do, but you realize quickly that nothing in more important than your health. So if I am a little slower in meeting deadlines, it is because I am taking care of my stiff neck and back. That way I will be back to full strength sooner and can again work to full capacity.

When you have one of those instinctive moments, when you suddenly know your plans have to change, right now, I hope you will go with the flow and take care of the truly important things in life.

Balance

Like a lot of people, I struggle with balance. Not the physical kind, but the kind that means taking time for yourself. When I get involved in a project, I eat, live and breathe is until it is done, so I have to force myself to take a walk, weed the garden, or play with the dog. These are all things I like to do, so it seems odd even to me that I have to force myself at certain times to fit it all in. Here's an idea I give to my clients that I realize I need to use myself:

Allot a certain amount of time each day for certain tasks. If I can only spend three hours on a project, then I quit when three hours are up and decide to feel glad for the amount of work that I got done. That way, for example, I can take 30 minutes to walk, 20 minutes to weed and 15 minutes to play.

For those of you with horses, this idea works better when you are not working with horses than when you are. That's because when a horse is involved, you have to work at least partially on the horse's time frame. If you want to work on bending, you are only going to get as much done as the horse is capable of. His expectations and yours may be completely different, so you are only going to go as fast or as slow as your equine partner will allow you to go.

So my goal for today is to balance productivity with realistic time frames for everything I do.

For more on these ideas, check out the books section of my web site.